Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Movie Theater Mishap Brings Death For Man Who Got Head Stuck in Dangerous Theater Seat


So, the saying "Take your head out of your ass." was apparently misinterpreted recently in jolly old England when a poor unfortunate gentlemen was killed when he got his head stuck where his bum should have been.  The gentleman's head was crushed by a reclining theater seat as he searched for his lost cell phone after the show.

Variety.com reported that the man had dropped his phone and was trying to retrieve it in between the theater’s Gold Class seats. After he bent down, the reclining, electric seat’s footrest clamped down on the man’s head. He was attending a film with his partner, who reportedly became frantic as the man started to panic upon realizing he was stuck. Staff and other patrons at the cinema struggled to free him, but eventually broke him out of the entrapment. He later passed away at a local hospital due to complications.

The Birmingham City Council has started a health and safety investigation into the horrible theater accident and into which horrible piece of garbage Hollywood film this guy was watching before the incident occurred.

Poor Lad.

Chinese Toxic Space Station Crashing into Earthly Neighborhood Near you... Soon!



China's Rogue Space Station Tiangong-1 is reported to be crashing into Earth next week and if that's not bad enough, according to the Daily Star UK, the OUT-OF-CONTROL space station is packed with “cancer causing” chemicals that could hit several major world cities!

 Officials in China are preempting the crash with this apology, “So sorry for turning one of your finest cities into hammered shit. But please continue to buy more of our cheap toxic toys and poisonous stuff.” They actual didn’t say this but with all the fake news these days we thought it was probably close to what they were thinking.

 Here is some data on the inevitable toxic bomb headed barreling towards civilization:
  • China’s first prototype station Tiangong-1 will come crashing back to the planet between March 30 and April 6.
  • The doomed 8.5-tonne craft, which has been hurtling towards Earth since control was lost in 2016, is believed to contain dangerous hydrazine. 
The Daily Star U.K. references Aerospace, a US research organization based in El Segundo, California that says the following cities on high alert:
  • Boston, MA 
  • Des Moines, IA
  • Detroit, MI 
  • Milwaukee, WI
  • Philadelphia, PA
  • Salt Lake City, UT
  • Florence, Italy
  • Monaco City 
  • Sochi, Russia
  • Trelew, Argentina
  • Christchurch, New Zealand
  • Sapporo, Japan 
 Good Luck Earth - The Sky is Really Falling!

Movie Theater Mishap Brings Death For Man Who Got Head Stuck in Dangerous Theater Seat

So, the saying " Take your head out of your ass. " was apparently misinterpreted recently in jolly old England when a poor unfo...